Change is needed

At present, social, political and legal power lies with those seeking ever more privileges and special treatment for women, they resolutely ignore and suppress male issues and genuine concerns. They have such a powerful hold on society and control public debate so tightly that it is hard to see how things can ever improve.  

They successfully deny fathers their children and children their fathers despite the huge benefits fathers bring to children, they change the language we use, they create new words, they fail to prosecute false accusers, they shut down debate by shaming and apparently being hurt and upset by simply hearing a different viewpoint. They secure unfair legal changes and laws that ensure different treatment for men and women by design not just by court sympathies and practices. They push women, by using quotas, into the few top positions in society women don't already dominate, ignoring all the many areas where they already do dominate while deliberately leaving the undesirable jobs to men and then actually highlighting the pay issue of these jobs that they don't want as an example of the Gender Pay Gap. 

There is overwhelming evidence that the education system is deliberately biased against boys (see the chapter on education in The Empathy Gap) in it's teaching practices, assessment methods, the tailoring of courses to better suit girls and the turning of the education into an indoctrination system where boys are trained to see themselves as a problem and girls are good. This has been going on for so long unchecked that it is plain that the education system is not merely blind to male issues, no one could be that will fully blind, their eyes are wide open, the truth is they are achieving their goals of female privilege and superior outcomes. When boys were widely out performing girls measure were taken, more emphasis was given to continuous teacher assessment, less on exams, changes to the books and material were made to incentivise girls and dis incentivize boys, well it certainly worked. Now we need to redress the balance but suddenly no one cares. Boys learn a valuable lesson that society does not care about them, they may as well learn it early because it will last their whole lives. Only people in their small circle of friends and family will care, society will exploit, condemn and demand servitude. 

The newly indoctrinated young people of the last 40 years, are shaping society. The politically active among them win huge and continued financial support from government by using a victim narrative. They use this victim strategy to win sympathy and help for girls and women, and the perpetrator strategy that naturally follows falls to men and boys. They illicit punishment and extract finance and privilege for these so called "victims" (who are really the privileged). They appear to be acting kindly but their actions are extremely cruel, however this cruelness is only towards a class they have no regard for.     

Equality used to mean equality but now we ask whose equality, we have women's equality departments, women's equality schemes, a women's equality government minister and so on. We do not know how many people agree or disagree with this focus on only women's issues, not many people now call themselves feminists but these views have spread far and wide. Perhaps some people go along with it to avoid becoming a target of hate and hounded out of their career, but the brave must speak out and hope that others join them.     

Politicians, news media, entertainment industry and other companies should not be afraid of a small number of extremists with disproportionate power and influence, they should simply stop funding them and their so called peer reviewed experts, and speak directly to the majority of sensible people who just need to be shown the true and full picture to appreciate the injustice and the harm being done. The brave will win votes as they begin to heal society. 

We know that there are gender extremists who will launch into character assassination on individuals, particularly men, but those who stand up for what they believe in will find that support is growing as people are becoming fed up with the viscous, vocal minority that are destroying families, society and the well being and happiness of men, women and children.

How To Help

Research, share, speak out. There is much that can be done and much that needs to be done, 

A shift in public opinion and awareness is not something that can be achieved quickly, but changing the direction of western society under feminism is urgent, so please use your influence to speak up for equality of opportunity. Another requirement is to stand your ground and call it out if someone treats you or someone you are with in a disparaging way due to being male.

Talk with friends and family where opportunities arise, get involved with speaking up on social media. Be honest, don't pretend to know everything if you are unsure and always think about the language you use as it frames the debate. The aim should be to appeal to people's sympathies and persuade people particularly listeners and readers, of your view, rather than just win a point for the sake of it. Practise makes perfect, stay calm and polite, call out people intimidating you. Make sure both you the person you are debating with share the same meanings of words like 'victim' and 'equality' if in doubt ask them what they mean by the word. You can not debate a word with two differnet meanings.

Whatever your political leanings, speak up against the discrimination and lack of opportunity that men and boys face in education, the family, relationships, dating, domestic violence, suicide, health, exclusion or bias when applying for jobs, unequal treatment in the legal system. Do this at every opportunity and create opportunities, there are so many areas that need discussion. There is an urgent need in the UK for a minister for men and boys. Someone who could create opportunities to have a debate about these matters, too often these matters are being shutdown and diverted by hostile members of parliament. 

Men spend time with your sons, daughters, nephews, nieces, talk to friends children, they get little time with men at school and in their lives generally, give them a positive impression, show you have time for them and care for them. It helps younger children, especially boys if you read to them. Boys particularly need a safe outlet for all their energy.   

If you are a granddad offer to help look after your grand children and show them your love and kindness, be yourself and they will see another set of values that will broaden their thinking. 

Women please make a space for the men in your life to talk. 

Everyone please talk and share your insights and concerns with friends and family and any who will listen.   

Make use of social media to put the case for men and boys and their issues, if you are concerned about your views affecting your career or safety, given the current crazy climate then use an alternative name.   

Be polite, honest and don't exaggerate the plight of men and boys or the lack of concern shown or the bias in society, there really is no need. Tell it straight.   

Learn all the facts you can about the issues affecting men and boys, rehearse what you will say so that you can answer difficult questions. Not may people speak up at present so you will watched carefully to see if you can make valid points and convince others, if you can you will start to convince others that men and boys have legitimate concerns if you get it wrong you will confirm them in their thinking and it will be harder next time. If you practice you will get better, you will come up against people trotting out arguments they have heard and made a thousand times so it is much harder for you, until your arguments become almost automatic. Watch Videos of people who argue and debate well. Keep calm and gently point out when people are being rude, people don't like being accused of being rude and others present will then be watching to see if the other person can avoid being rude in making their case, if they can't it looks like their case is weak.   

Find an organisation to help, ask what they need, possible help fund them, deliver leaflets, share any ideas you have with them, none of us have all the answers.   

Consider trying for a position where you could gain some influence to effect change. Teacher, politician, board of governors, advisor, contributor to a local paper the possibilities are endless.  Try and speak up at work regarding politically correct, female biased nonsence, particularly if it is making you feel unhappy and you feel safe to do so.   

Buy some of the recommended books, read them pass them on to a friend.   

LOBBY, LOBBY, LOBBY - Write letters to MPs, Govenment Departments, newspapers etc. Consider placing adverts, or organising / taking part in small scale local targeted protests, likely to gain support e.g. boy's education, family courts.  Invite influential people to a presentation or debate, let local media know and always prepare carefully.

 

Avoid spending your money on the products of companies whose adverts portray men and boys negatively or recruit and promote within their company using female shortlists or quotas.   

Gillette (Procter & Gamble) . When in a shop just pull forward alternative razors so that they can be seen. I never push back Gillette ones I feel that is going too far, but just pulling alternative stock forward to be seen I have no problem with.   

Lee Jeans (Same company as Wrangler)    

Google   

There are many other companies and they should all be called out.   

You can also report adverts on Facebook or Twitter or to the Advertising Standards Authority in your country, for the UK this is at https://www.asa.org.uk   

There are companies that are starting to use male positive adverts such as Maxwell House and Egard Watches. Just keep your eyes open, act accordingly and spread the word.

If you would like to do more please consider funding those who are active on the issues men and boys face. There are a few suggestions below in the "Who To Fund" section.

Take your conscience to work 

This can be difficult within a company, an organisation, civil service, government department, Police Force, Family Court etc. particularly where there are entrenched views and even harmful and damaging guidlines that you are required to implement. If you are not in a position to risk loosing your employment please nevertheless do your best to do what you can, certainly try to avoid carrying out actions that perpetuate a bad situation or make things worse, perhaps you could try a go slow or something. Foot soldiers can be as complicit as leaders in a bad regime but only you will know the limits of your own situation and your own strengths, it's not easy so simply do your best, you can't do more.

If you are involved in the news avoid sensationally demonising men and boys, try to be balanced. It is worth remembering that feminists are a small minority, most people are more open minded even if they share some of their views but increasing numbers of people are coming to the opinion that many feminist views are harmful. So if it is profit you seek, you might do better to focus on appealing to the majority and actually help improve society at the same time by being balanced or if you want to be sensational and provocative, by offering counterbalance or alternative view.    

There is a great need for writers of novels, plays, musicals, films, music, poets, sculpture, dance and for creatives of all types to bring more balance or counterbalance to society and write more positive male roles. The arguments have been won but hearts and minds have not, just showing the evidence only wins over logical people. Feminism is a belief system, evidence will have little or no influence and people holding these beliefs effectively run our society and it's institutions so these people will either need to be replaced or converted to a new and fairer belief system. Seeing men cry does not tug at the heart strings the way that it does when women and children, it's the way we have evolved, so even though we need to try to encourage empathy for men it won't be easy. Disney Princesses are central characters but the Princes merely have a supporting role.  

There is a natural empathy for women as a group, there is not for men, feminists have always pushed and continue to push at an open door, it will be a constant and difficult task to recognise this in action and call it out. People holding feminist beliefs sit on film boards and every important watchdog and committee, feminism is pandemic. If you are a regulator or censor, please be balanced and try to avoid judging everything by how favourably women and girls portrayed while ignoring men and boys who have precious few positive role models already. If you are a male actor why not just refuse to play a villain, fool, rapist, violent husband or mean spirited character for the umpteenth time until you are given the opportunity to play positive male characters. It is not helpful to perpetuate negative images of men just for entertainment. 

Self Respect

For your own self respect and sanity you must defend yourself, your views, your right to have a view, your space and your right to exist as an equal human being with others. Speak up, you are not here simply to be used and abused by others. Also listen and adapt your views if you see they are wrong. Don't pretend that you know everything, every one knows that you don't.

Jordan B. Peterson / 12 Rules For Life - a great book, not just for men but for everyone.

Rule 1 / Stand up straight with your shoulders back

Rule 2 / Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping

Rule 3 / Make friends with people who want the best for you

Rule 4 / Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today

Rule 5 / Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them

Rule 6 / Set your house in prefect order before you criticize the world

Rule 7 / Persue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)

Rule 8 / Tell the truth - or, at least, don't lie

Rule 9 / Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't

Rule 10 / Be precise in your speech

Rule 11 / Do not bother children when they are skateboarding

Rule 12 / Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/

New section

Ideas for Organisations

Open Days

Are you involved in helping men in boys overcome disadvantage in anyway or bringing light to neglected matters, perhaps your organisation provides a needed service? 

Why not invite members of government to open days to see your work, have a tea and coffee reception before the start, make a presentation, have a Q&A session and give out a fact sheet at the end perhaps with photos appealing to emotions to portraying the realities behind the facts. Leave an open invitation for people to stay on for tea, coffee, cake or biscuits and a chat at the end, personally ask them if they would like a drink and try to get a conversation going. If only a few respond keeping expanding the invitation list until you have good numbers. Plan well ahead and be nice. 

As well as highlighting problems and showing what you do, tell them what you need, how they can help, the legal changes needed. 

Perhaps give everyone who attends a copy of a relevent book, perhaps The Empathy Gap as a reference or a book of your own if you have one.

Charity Status

Would charity status be suitable for you, would it help and would you be eligible.

Rules and benefits vary by country this is an example for the UK https://www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-set-up-a-charity-cc21a

Provide tools

Provide tools to members and helpers such as sample letters, banners, leaflets, stickers, lists of people to contact, ideas for protests etc.

Help in your quest

Find your MP (UK only)

https://www.parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/mps/

Preparation to meet your MP (UK information)

Advise on how to prepare to meet your MP - https://www.results.org.uk/sites/default/files/files/How%20to%20hold%20a%20successful%20meeting%20with%20your%20MP.pdf

Organise a public demonstration

A few tips - https://www.ilholocaustmuseum.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/How-to-Organize-a-Public-Demonstration.pdf

https://friendsoftheearth.uk/sites/default/files/downloads/cyw_59_protest_law.pdf

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-art-of-protesting-how-to-organize-a-protest-that_b_588b2de1e4b0020b224b43a0

https://www.ihollaback.org/how-to-organize-a-protest-or-march/

https://www.howcast.com/videos/88725-how-to-protest-without-violence

Attending a public demonstration

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-protest-safely-and-legally-5859590

Interviews

Keep calm, don't let a misquote of what you have said stand, point out how an aggressive interviewer or audience member makes you feel, be prepared, know all you can and don't bluff or overstate your claim. 

This is a difficult an interview well handled,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMcjxSThD54

Tips on debating

(there are many such links you can search for). http://www.davereineke.com/how-to-debate-effectively/

Self protection 

It is unfortunate to have to mention this but if you come under attack from radical and hostile gender biased people, social justice warriors etc. here is a guide to their methods to help you deal with it. 

http://www.milobookclub.com/mart/SJW_Attack_Survival_Guide.pdf

Posters & Leaflets

Mankind Initiative have some posters and leaflets you can print off or order, to put up or hand out in public places aimed at men who are suffering domectic violence and their friends and family - https://www.mankind.org.uk/for-professionals/leaflets-and-posters/

Banners, Slogans

Boys learn differently

Equality Under The Law 

Equality Under The Law - A Society To Be Proud Of

Same Rights for Women & Men

No Two Tier Justice 

Too Many Men In Prison 

Empathy For Men (Too)

Make Love Not Sex War 

Boys Need Love and their Dads

End Father Exclusion

Shared Parenting

Equal Justice (for Women & Men

Equality in Law

No More Sexist Shortlists

Equal Opportunity Motivates Society

Equal Time For Equal Crime

Investigate For Truth - It Matters

Innocent until proven guilty

Sex crimes need annominity until proven guilty

Build a fair society to proud of

No Circumcision - my body my choice

A Foreskin is not just a piece of skin

Leave Boys Intact

Stop Hating Men

Equal Imprisonment

Jail Less Men

End Gendered Crimes

No Gendered Crimes

Intended injustice is hate - end gendered laws

No Chivalry towards women under feminism

End Misandry in the Justice System

Statistics

Domestic Violence 

https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/

http://empathygap.uk/?p=2952

Education

A Levels UK 2019 - http://empathygap.uk/?p=3023

GCSE UK 2019 - http://empathygap.uk/?p=2995

General

General Statistics - http://www.menandboyscoalition.org.uk/statistics

Who to Fund

Who to Fund

There are hard working people striving against the odds for equality of opportunity and justice, if you can help any of them financially to keep going please do so. Huge amounts of public funding go to feminist organisations, often doing more harm than good. You might like to consider supporting one or more of the following. Thank you.  

Australia 

Bettina Arndt - Campaigner for better relations between the sexes and the Fake Rape Crisis http://www.bettinaarndt.com.au

Canada 

Canadian Centre For Equality - Equality Means Equality For Everyone - https://equalitycanada.com/

Clary Jaxon - Social Theory Watch - Supporting, highlighting the falsely accused - https://www.socialtheorywatch.org/donate.html

Diana Davison - Help for the falsely accused of domestic violence and sex crimes - https://thelighthouseproject.ca/donate/ 

UK 

ManKind Initiative - Domestic Violence Charity supporting male victims - https://www.mankind.org.uk/support-us/donations/

Elizabeth Hobson - Gender Equality Activist - https://www.subscribestar.com/antifembot

Famlies Need Fathers – Charity - https://fnf.org.uk/join-us-2/donate

Justice For Men and Boys - Campaigning Political Party - https://j4mb.org.uk/donate/

USA

National Coalition For Men (Legal assistance and campaigning - https://ncfm.org/

World 

Here is an organisation trying to highlight some of the problems and actually has some proposals and is putting a plan together, please support them if you can - http://www.malestudies.org/donate.html

Honey Badger Radio - Making regular videos & podcasts on issues affecting men & boys - https://www.feedthebadger.com/shop/

Events

Previous events

Messages 4 Men 3

 —  —

Central London TBC, London

Organised by j4bm.org.uk "Join our annual mini-conference to celebrate international men's day. Listen to our speakers as they celebrate, inform, entertain and discuss masculinity and all the issues that men & boys face in our increasingly misandrist society.

The keynote address will be delivered by William Collins, author of the critically important book 'The Empathy Gap', recently released.

The event will be introduced by Elizabeth Hobson, hosted by Natty. "

Nov14

“Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse”

 —  —

Mercure Bristol Holland House Hotel, Redcliffe Hill, Bristol, BS1 6SQ

Organised by Mankind Initiative https://www.mankind.org.uk/conference/

"One in every six men in Britain will suffer from domestic abuse in their lifetime whilst one in every three domestic abuse victims are male. There is a growing need to ensure men and their children receive male-victim friendly support and responses from organisations in the statutory, private and third sectors – at a local, regional and national level. This includes ensuring statutory, safeguarding and equality obligations are met.

This is the seventh national conference the charity has held. Delegates will hear from a range of survivors, professionals and academics working across the domestic abuse sector.

Three survivors will speak candidly about their experiences – what happened to them, what support they received and how they have rebuilt their lives.

Other speakers will highlight how you can help ensure male victims and their children in your local community escape. This includes setting up male-victim friendly services and public communications campaigns through to explaining the experiences and barriers these victims face.

The academics will also set out their latest research findings including new research on male victims of coercive and controlling behaviour.

This conference has places for over 100 delegates (over 100 attended the conference in Manchester last year). The conference has six CPD Points."

Who should attend

This is a conference aimed at professionals who work with domestic abuse victims/survivors or wish to, and, academics/researchers.

Costs

£55 student delegate rate £90 per delegate for (non-housing association) voluntary/third sector/private individuals and £250 for three delegates. £110 per delegate for statutory agencies, housing associations and private sector and £300 for three delegates.

Booking Form

Booking forms for the conference can be found here:

Conference Booking Form (2019)

General Enquiries

Please email conference@mankind.org.uk

Conference sponsorship opportunities:

Please contact Mark Brooks (Chair) via email chairman@mankind.org.uk

For stands and further information:

Please contact conference@mankind.org.uk or call 01823 334229

The charity is a supporter of the national UK Says No More Campaign:

CALL 01823 334244

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence

Weekdays 10am to 4pm